Monday, December 18, 2006

My Baby!!



It has been a while for me to write in my blog. i don't have computer at home and to use office's computer... I don't think so. Well, I will get one soon.





It's been almost six month I've been working. I love it, knowing that I have career in life. Besides, I can afford to buy things for my Twinkle. Ahh.... isn't she cute. She is 15 months now. She knows how to walk... a little bit. The most is like 10 steps. I hope by the end of this year, she can walk properly.



This year, we don't have open house. This is because my mum and Twinkle will be in Kuching. My sister is having a baby boy soon. Yahoo...



Saturday, September 23, 2006

More on baby....


Twinkle's 1st birthday




Twinkle's first birthday was on the 13th September 2006. So, I was away and missed her birthday because of work. Well, I am a little bit upset because that's her first birthday and I miss it! Hmm... when I was at the office, I was near to tears. Oh well, there is always next year! It will be grandeur... ever!


On that day, she also receiving her 1-year shot from doctor. She was a little bit unwell but still have sufficient energy to be naughty! I heard she had a wonderful time since lots of other's kid present on tht day.



I miss her so much!! I only be back to Mukah after Hari raya. But, my mum and Twinkle will be coming to Kuching to celebrate Hari Raya. YahoooO!!!


Saturday, August 26, 2006

What It Feels Like... To Chop a Man's Head Off

By Fernand Meyssonnier, 75, former executioner

As told to Sarah Richards
August 2006, Volume 146, Issue 2

Meyssonnier worked on a guillotine team led by his father in French Algeria. From 1947 to 1961, he participated in two hundred executions.


Some people told me it took courage to guillotine people. But it’s not courage; it’s the ability to remain composed. You need absolute confidence.


When the condemned were brought out to the prison courtyard, they’d see the guillotine right away. Some were brave, but others collapsed or pissed themselves. I’d have to reach my whole body into the guillotine to pull the guy’s head forward. Had my father accidentally activated the blade, it would have cut me in half. Once I’d positioned the head on the bascule, my father would lower the demilunette. That’s the wooden bar that holds the head in place. Then I’d pull as hard as I could with my hands hooked behind the guy’s ears and say, “Vasy mon père!” There wasn’t even enough time to say it twice. If things went on too long, they had time to react, to turn their head and bite me. Or the guy could retract his head. You had to be careful because the blade came so close to your fingers. Some of the prisoners would cry, “Allah akbar!” until the blade cut off their breath. The first time, I remember thinking, It’s so fast! Then it became routine.


When the head comes off, there are two arteries in the body that spray blood ten feet. It’s like pitching two glasses of water. I think the more the guy was scared, the farther the blood projected. But the head itself doesn’t bleed much. The eyes move around some, but that’s about it. The trembling lasts only a few seconds.


I put my hand on a decapitated guy’s chest once. It was beating like the spark plugs in a car. You pull a plug, the car starts to run poorly: clack, clack, clack. It beats in tremors, and in the space of maybe ten, twenty seconds, that was it. The heart was no longer beating.
One time, we had a guy who fought us, and we were trying to tie him up, but he was incredibly strong. The guards punched him, and his head was all mashed up. When it was time to grab his head, my hands kept slipping because of the blood. We managed to drop the blade, but by the time I was holding his head in my hands, there was blood all over my face. I could feel the heat from it. Three or four guards fainted when they saw me there, this head in my hands, my face covered in blood.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Something to think about...

A simple and humble prayer filled with trust. It reminds us of the repose of a little child in his mother's arms. Is not this attitude which Lord praises?

O Lord, my heart is not proud
nor do I expect too much.
I am not engrossed in ambitious matters,
nor in things too great for me.

I have quieted and stilled my soul
like a weaned child on its mother's lap;
like a contented child is my soul.
Hope in the lord, now and forever.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Twinkle's first attempt to eat her first cookie...




Can you see the changes of her face? She looks like a cat fallen into a bowl of a thick cream. Can you see her dimple? Hmm.... so sweet!

Baby taking a bath at our verandah!


I purposely put her in a big basin to have a quick plunge in water. It was a very hot day, well because of haze. She looked happy though.


Hehehehe, she is making a splash!


Well, for sure she was very happy after that.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

It's hot Sunday and Twinkle is 11 months today!


No electricity here since 10 am till now. Well, it's almost 2pm and it is blardy hot! Luckily it is windy and Twinkle manage to sleep.

She had constipation problem yesterday. But today she is OK. It was horrible to see her crying and there was trace of blood in her poo.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Melanau special delicacy...


This is a delicacy for Melanau. We called it "lamaih" but I don't know what it is called in English or Malay. It is an expensive delicacy, which can cost RM 100 per kilo.

The form above is in caterpillar stage. But when it is in pupa stage, it is still edible. My mum loves to find it in the jungle. It is seasonal... only certain times of the year. Sometimes we have to wait 2 to 3 years.

Usually it is wrapped in leaves, you know, like those normal butterfly. But it is never known to me whether it is a butterfly or not. Hahahaha, they don't get the chance to be one since all of them are harvested by all hungry Melanau. Hehehehe

I never tried it before, so for the first time in my life I tried it today. It reminded me of Fear Factor. It tastes OK. But that's it. I don't want another bite of it.


Hehehehe, I gave one to baby for her to hold. Look at her expression... She is not even scared of it but holding it as it is a toy. I still feel queasy by looking at it.


This is baby upon closer inspection.


Oppsss... poor fellow, getting pulled into two pieces by Twinkle. Luckily it is already cooked. Well, I don't see any guilt in Twinkle's face.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Interesting article on Tun Mahathir

This is an interesting article that I found, courtesy from Miss Jue off from A Kadir Jasin's blog.



THE FINANCIAL CRISIS OF 1997 - 1998

By Nor Mohamed Yakcop



A moment comes, which rarely comes in a lifetime, when a particular event redefines a person's life and changes the course permanently. For me, the meeting with Dr. Mahathir Mohamad in Buenos Aires (Argentina) on the evening of October 3, 1997 was such an event. It enabled me to devote the next 6 years of my life working for Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, meeting him almost daily. In the process, it enabled me to see, at very close range, the abilities of this great man.


The combination of many noble qualities in one person is rare, and it is this unique combination that has enabled Dr. Mahathir Mohamad to transform Malaysia from an otherwise typical third world country into a thriving and vibrant nation, well on the way to become a developed nation. It is also this combination of qualities that enabled Dr. Mahathir Mohamad to save Malaysia from becoming another IMF nation during the financial crisis of 1997 - 1998.



I am often asked about my involvement in the recovery plan implemented on September 1, 1998. It began on September 29, 1997, when I received a telephone call from the office of Dr Mahathir Mohamad informing me that the Prime Minister wanted to see me. The PM was in Cuba at that time, and I asked (in jest) if I was to meet the Prime Minister in Cuba !I was told (not in jest) that he will be arriving in Buenos Aires on October 3, 1997 and I was to make sure I was in Buenos Aires at least a day before he arrived. I packed my bags and left for Buenos Aires, and arrived in Buenos Aires on October 2. The PM arrived the following day at 5 pm and we met immediately at his suite.


He informed me that he had asked many people to explain to him what was causing the financial crisis but no one was able to give him a satisfactory reply. He asked me whether I could explain to him what exactly was happening. I asked him how much time he had, and he said two hours. I explained to him how the forex market works, about short positions and long positions, about hedging and how currencies are borrowed and sold, the difference between "bid" and "offer" and how funds can be transferred from one country to another at the click of a button. I also explained how the equity market works and the relationship between the forex market and the equity market.


Dr. Mahathir hardly said anything, asked one or two questions, and listened intently.After two hours, he had to end the meeting to get ready to go for an official dinner. He asked me about my plans for the night and I said I had been invited for the same dinner. Dr. Mahathir said to me: You go back to your room and write down all that you have been telling me for the last two hours, and see me at 7 am tomorrow. I went back to my room, skipped dinner, and wrote it all down, finishing at about 6 am.I saw him the next morning at 7 am and gave him the report. He asked me to take a rest and come back again at 2 pm.


When I returned, he told me that he had read the report and that he now understands what was happening in the financial markets. We started discussing various methods of overcoming the crisis, and our discussions continued when we returned to Malaysia. I met him almost daily for discussion, sometimes at his house and sometimes at his office. We tried a few mechanisms to overcome the crisis, some of which worked initially, but the hedge funds were so strong that it was difficult to proceed successfully with these mechanisms.


In early 1998, Dr. Mahathir Mohamad asked me to explore the idea of imposing an exchange control regime to overcome the crisis. I remember preparing voluminous notes on this subject. Dr. Mahathir went through the notes carefully, and kept asking for more and more details. We went through many rounds of discussion, until he was finally convinced both with the concept as well as the proposed mechanism.


The rest, I guess, is history.Dr. Mahathir also asked me to prepare a paper on how to put an end to Malaysian shares traded in CLOB (Central Limit Order Book) in Singapore. Dr. Mahathir was of the view that an important reason for the falling stock market was the short-selling of Malaysian stocks in CLOB. I prepared the report and Dr. Mahathir understood, for the first time, how exactly CLOB operates.


The report, which was also implemented on September 1, 1998, put to an end the trading of Malaysian shares in CLOB. I should add that the exchange control measures were crafted in such a way as to minimize the control aspects and maximize the outcome. The Prime Minister went through the proposed mechanism many times to make sure that the control elements were as few as possible, but adequate enough to ensure a positive outcome. There were no bureaucratic elements in these measures, such as requiring importers to obtain Bank Negara's permission to import. The Ringgit was also pegged at a level where it was not overvalued. In almost every other country, which imposes exchange control measures and pegs its currency, there would, almost by definition, be numerous bureaucratic controls, and the currency would also be pegged at an overvalued rate.It is often assumed that the system of exchange control (including fixed exchange rate) that we implemented on September 1, 1998 saved the country.


The measures of September 1, 1998 were undoubtedly a necessary condition, but it was not a sufficient condition to overcome the crisis. Malaysia was saved, not by exchange control measures per se, but by Dr. Mahathir Mohamad.Let me explain. Any other developing country, facing a similar crisis, if it had introduced the measures that we introduced in September 1998, the measures would probably have failed. The fact that in Malaysia these measures succeeded is due to the ability and character of Dr. Mahathir Mohamad. The economy and the financial system, under Dr. Mahathir's leadership, was in a very healthy state--healthy enough for the exchange control measures to be implemented without negative consequences. Moreover, the Prime Minister's hands-on management style enabled quick and timely decisions to be made, which was vital under the new exchange control regime.Dr. Mahathir, as Prime Minister, had ensured that the Malaysian economy was fundamentally strong. Ringgit was strong and stable. On the back of the currency stability (at RM2.50 against the US dollar) Malaysia was doing very well.


At the end of 1996, real Gross Domestic Product (GDP) grew at almost 8.5 per cent and the growth was expected to continue for many more years. The government was enjoying a fiscal surplus. The external debt was low, at 40 per cent of the Gross National Product (GNP). The current account of the balance of payments had narrowed from a deficit of 10 per cent to 5 per cent of GNP, and was expected to improve further. Inflation was at its lowest at 2.1 percent. We had steady growth of over 8 per cent for a major part of that period. And this fundamental strength of Malaysia was a critical factor that enabled the exchange control measures to succeed.


For a period of more than a year after the measures of September 1, 1998 were implemented, the Prime Minister met with a small group of us everyday - 6 days a week - for at least 2 hours to go through various economic data, including data on loan growth, exports, imports, property overhang etc. This enabled the Prime Minister to take quick actions, whenever required. I remember one morning when we were going through the property figures, he looked at me and directed that I should organize a property fair to clear the overhang of properties. I did, and property worth more than RM 3 billion was sold.

Even after the crisis was over, Dr. Mahathir continued to meet with the group regularly, though no longer on a daily basis. And Dr. Mahathir continued to go through all the economic data with a sharp pencil. No other Prime Minister in the world, either in developed or developing countries, employs such a hands-on approach in managing the economy.


We can see, therefore, that it was not the exchange control measures per se that saved the country but the man --- Dr. Mahathir Mohamad --- himself.The period 1997 - 1998 was, to paraphrase Charles Dickens, the worst of times, but it was also the best of times. The worst conditions brought out the best in Dr. Mahathir Mohamad. There is a saying that a good leader is like good tea - you only know the true quality when he is in hot water !


Throughout the crisis, the Prime Minister was focussed on resolving the crisis. Day and night, he thought of nothing else but the crisis. He read all he could on finance; he kept asking me to prepare notes on various technical issues. Sometimes he was sick with bad flu and cough, but he did not take time off to rest. He was convinced that he had to understand the issues before he could work out the solutions. His native intelligence and ability to focus on core issues were there throughout the crisis. He did not show any sign of fear even at the worst of time, only concern at the fast deteriorating state of the economy. He was, at all times, confident that he would prevail in the end.

I would like to add two additional points related to the financial crisis.The first is that, in implementing the measures of September 1, 1998, Dr. Mahathir not only saved Malaysia but the neighbouring countries as well. Let me explain. When Malaysia imposed its exchange control measures on September 1, 1998, the currency speculators realised that the other affected countries (Thailand, Indonesia and South Korea) could also impose similar controls, and they, therefore, stopped their activities in its track. The speculators backed off. They bought back the currencies that they had sold. This is resulted in the regional currencies appreciating. Moreover, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) was not happy with what Malaysia had done, particularly since, after implementing the measures, we did exactly the opposite of what the IMF wanted us to do, i.e. we lowered our interest rates and injected liquidity into the system. The IMF, therefore, started relaxing conditions in other countries and allowed them to lower their interest rates and allowed them to inject liquidity to stimulate their economies so that Malaysia would not outperform the IMF countries. Therefore, it is no exaggeration to say that Dr. Mahathir Mohamad not only saved Malaysia, but the other affected countries in the region as well - Thailand, Indonesia and South Korea.



My second point is regarding what would have happened if the exchange control measures were not implemented. If the measures were not implemented, many of corporations in Malaysia would have gone under, due to the high interest rates. When the corporations fall like dominos, banks would have faced severe liquidity and solvency problems due to the ballooning NPLs. The problems of the banks would have resulted in a credit squeeze, which would have led to another round of corporate failures. The Government's revenue would have fallen drastically as fewer firms would be paying corporate taxes, thereby reducing the Government's ability to stimulate the economy through fiscal policy measures. As a result of the problems faced by corporations and banks, unemployment would have increased substantially, leading to a second round of problems. This is the classic vicious cycle, which could have, in the end, destroyed the social and political stability of the country. This was a scenario that was waiting to happen. It did not happen because of the decisiveness and guts of Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, who decided to take the path less travelled. We owe Dr. Mahathir much gratitude for what he has done for Malaysia over the last 22 years. Solving the financial crisis of 1997 - 1998 was just one, albeit perhaps the most important, of Dr. Mahathir Mohamad's many contributions to the nation.



On a personal note, over the last 6 years, I have come to admire this great man for his abilities, his high moral values and, most of all, for his sincerity. Certainly, a man like Dr. Mahathir Mohamad is not born everyday.


(23rd. October, 2003)

Funny faces of Twinkle...



This is Twinkle frowning...


Her latest act!


This is Twinkle after her morning bath. Ahh... she is truly my sunshine!!

Monday, August 07, 2006

I am in Mukah


It has been a week that I am in Mukah. Well, today I have the mood to write something in my blog. Hmmm... I have a lot to tell today. But, I try to squeeze everthing here.

Oh ya. This is Twinkle's latest picture. Hmm... I am sorry the quality is not as good as before because I don't have digital camera with me anymore. So, I have to use my sister's phone to take her picture. She looks different, isn't she? Aiya, she is very active and of course adorable. This 13th August, she will be 11 months! Oh ya, her progress, she can stands but not crawling or walking yet. Hmmm... Maybe she spends so much time in her walker. Oh well... by next month, she should know how to walk. Tomorrow, I'll try to put her picture while making all the funny faces.

Byron, I need to excercise! I am getting fat! Hey, thanks for calling me. Sorry about the connection. The coverage in Mukah is really bad. Hmmm...

Friday, July 28, 2006

Happy Twinkle and new car maybe?


I love this picture. She seems so happy. Anyway, I am going back to Mukah this coming Sunday. Yahoo... I am going to see my Twinkle!
Oh ya, yesterday we went to car dealer. Hmm... I am going to get a new car since my Kembara Gold will be sold. I have been driving that car for two years. Better change la. I am excited to get this new white MyVi. Before, I want to get Kelisa since it is cute and petrol wise, very cheap! Anyway, MyVi has more space compared to Kelisa. Hehehehe, me n Twinkle can cruise around. Byron, come to Mukah... we can go to the beach with Twinkle.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Sejingkat...

Ok, I went to see Mr. James after almost a month having an interview with him.

I went to Sejingkat Power Station and it took 20 minutes from my sister's house. When I went there, the power plant was really huge.

Mr James told me that Sejingkat Power Plant will be similar to Mukah Power Generation only bigger. I was like... Oh, ok.

Hmm... he actually asked me whether if I'm going to be the control and auto engineer, will I be ready to be sent to Sejingkat aka away from Mukah for 3 to 6 months? I told him that I have no problem because I have place to stay and car to drive. He seems happy to hear that.

I asked him what are the chances and the percentage of me getting the job. He was like telling me that everything is positive. The result will only be known middle August. I was like... oh dear...

So, now all I can do is wait. I know I was given an assurance that I will get the job because I am a local and I have the right education background. The first interview, Mr James had worries over me because I am a woman. Duh! I know... It will be a difficult environment for me. When I was at Sejingkat Power Station, some naughty technicians whistling at me. Hmmm, typical Malaysian guy reaction to see girls. I think they are sexually deprived because not much girls around. Maybe I should distribute blow up to them. Hahahahahahaha!

Even at Sejingkat, all girls work at the admin. I can see that because on the way to Mr James' office I can see girls only work at admin and reception. I asked this sweet bubbly receptionist whether any girl’s engineer. She said no. Hmm… if I’m to train at Sejingkat, I’ll be the first. Oh help me…

August… I will wait for a good news… Keep my finger crossed. I do this for Twinkle.

Byron….. Mr. James reminded me of you.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Today...

What a day. Yesterday, I had problem with my laptop. It is because of my stupidity. I downloaded this free song and later on, I had to deal with all nasty XXX rated free site. It really slow down the internet connection because of the silly pop ups. I sent my lap top to the shop to do re-format. Hmmm, I am lucky because Byron helped me up. He gave me advice to do this and that. Luckily, it only cost me RM 45.

Today I had a call from Mukah Power Generation regarding with my interview. I think I am going to get the job. The manager, Mr. James called me and he told me he wants to meet me tomorrow at his office. I guess he wants to explain more on the job. I feel confident I will get the job because the other two guys who attended the interview did not get any phone call from Mr. James. Oh well, I will only confirmed it tomorrow. Byron, I need this job!

Oh ya, my friend is going to work with a new company tomorrow. Dear friend, if you are reading this, I wish you all the best. Don't forget to bring along your mug and coffee. Hopefully, tomorrow is a good news for me too.

Friday, July 21, 2006

A moment...


Holy Spirit, you who make me see everything and show me the way to reach my ideal. You give me the divine gift to forgive and forget the wrong that is done to me and who in all the instances of my life with me, I in this short dialogue, want to thank you for everything and confirm once more that I never want to be separated from you no matter how great the materials desire may, I want to be with you and my loved ones in your perpetual glory.

Amen.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Oh beautiful Love....


My friend once told me, she is beautiful because her face is always smiling... Plus, her mouth is always kissable. So, for the feast of his eyes.... just for you dear friend.


Damn... look at her abs!!! I want that!


Her boobies! Hmm... can I have that implants?


With this smiles, you can go any where. Pretty lips!!

Perfect smile...

Ok, everybody does not have perfect teeth. How I wish I had taken care of my teeth. Now, it is one of the biggest mistakes I made in life for not taking a good care of my teeth.

Anyway, I was given a chance to fix it. I went to the dentist today and given three options:


1. Braces
2. Caps
3. Bridging

I told the dentist that I want instant result. Well, she told me to do bridging because it will last long. It will cost me RM 2500 for 4 teeth.

Anyway, she advised me to do braces since it will last longer and the alignment will be prettier compared to bridging. This is because bridging only fixing the upper teeth but not the lower teeth. Unlikely braces, it will fix both upper and lower. Even though it will cost me from RM 3000 to RM 4000, it is considered cheaper because per teeth will be roughly RM 85 but for bridging it will be RM 625 per teeth. This is because it will fix 4 teeth! Besides, braces will fix problem forever but not bridging. It will only last 10 to 20 years.

Tomorrow I will see orthodontist and see how much it will cost.

It occurred in my head, how do I look like wearing braces? My friend wore it before for 1 year, but he still looked yummy and handsome. Me? Hmm, I don’t know. But seriously, if somebody making fun of me, I just told them… it is a RM 5000 metal in my mouth. Not everyone can put that in their mouth. Hehehehehe.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

All the beautiful faces...


When I was pregnant, I watched a lot of korean soaps such as Jewel in the Palace and Full House. It was shown on 18TV in 2005. This Korean actress, Lee Young-Ae is from Jewel in the Palace. She is hot!

While these two are from Full House. I don't want to elaborate on the series, but I really enjoyed watching all the hot Korean actor and actress.

I wonder if my Twinkle had any of their resemblance because it is said that the appearance of your child in the womb can be influenced just by looking at others' faces. Hmm... hard to tell. So, Byron, what do you think?


Angelina Jolie... I just love her... She is just perfect!

Getting married...



I told my friend Siti Nurhaliza is getting married to Datuk Khalid. My friend knows her because I always downloading her song from his computer. Besides that I always play her song even though he don't understand Malay. Hahahahaha... the only word he knew is "cinta".


I have no comment but to hope a happy life for both of them. The difference between them is 20 years, she is 26 and him 46. Ahhh... age is only a number.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Me again...



I thought I want to paste the thing that I typed earlier. But, I changed my mind.

Well, I had this conversation with my friend. I feel awkward and hopeless. I worry too much. Maybe I should shut up. I can always talk to Twinkle. She may not understand but at least she will listen to me. I feel guilty because all the nonsense I told him. He must be tired of me talking crap.

Can I sleep well tonight? I don't know yet. My eyes hurts because of all the tears. I don't want to feel frustrated but sometimes I can't avoid it.

I just need to be home with my child. It has been a week already...

This picture is when Twinkle 5 months old. This picture makes me happy.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Oscar winning funny faces


Hehehe.. she is crying because she wanted to grab my camera. I purposely put on her cap. Hahaha.. more commercial value.


HAhahahaha... I love this picture. This is Twinkle while she is on her potty pot.


This is baby when she is showing off her charms. Ahh... how delightful...

Family feud and my dilemma…

It is a very complicated position if you are in between in this sticky situation. I am saying this because you have to hear both sides throwing lies, deceptions and ugly gossips about each other. Here I am just listening to them babbling and trying not to be smart out of anger to talk back. Trust me, they are not worthy to listen to, it is only a courtesy and out of politeness just because they are your relative. How I wish I am in Melbourne but not in Malaysia… sigh…

I really hate it when that somebody talking behind my back telling how selfish and irresponsible I am. To make thing worst, she starts spreading lies that I am not paying my loan and I am ruining my auntie’s marriage. Why? This is because my auntie is my guarantor. It seems that my auntie and her husband fighting and will getting the divorce because of me. This particular person has been telling my sister, but not me.

The funny thing is, my auntie is cool about it. I already explain to her nothing to worry about it. Unlikely this idiot, she just want to a cheap champion. Come on, she is nothing and only knows how to talk crap.

When my sister told me about this incident, I was bloody furious. I wanted to tell her off. How could she been doing that to me? My sister asked me to be patience. I really want to shout into her face but when I seen her, I just controlled myself and luckily it worked. Why is it so easy for her to pretend she didn’t do anything wrong? It is hard to pretend that you are OK, but you are not. She hasn’t seen the other side of me. For now, I just try to have compassion to her.

One day, I will tell her off. Not now but when the time comes. I don’t care if she is older or my own blood. What right does she have to tell lies and gossips everywhere? What she has done is already too much but I just need to learn to be patience. I am just scared that I might burst and scream at hr. Huh… that will be fun.

I remember when I was pregnant; I really despised to see her. The reason is simply she will asked me to do the thing that I don’t want to do.

But now, my baby is 10 months old. She is beautiful and I am so happy because I decided to have her. I don’t care if I lost my job because I want to have my baby. I can always find a new job but not Twinkle. Besides, being a Catholic, it is a mortal sin to have abortion. You cannot receive Holy Communion. The worst thing is you will loose Holy Spirit. You are not under His grace and mercy. Even worst, if you die sudden death without proper confession, you will go straight to hell for eternity. I don’t want to go there.

Knowing what she had done in the past, how can she receive Holy Communion in the church? Ok, you can attend everyday mass and recite rosary everyday, but what is the point if you don’t change the way you live? You still curse, spreading the filthiest gossip and no forgiveness in her heart? Cursed is her soul to receive Holy Communion if she still live a life like that. Even worst if you commit mortal sins and still receive Holy Communion. It is like booking our own damnation.

I have a lot to talk about religion, but maybe some other time.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

My Twinkle...


I'm back in Kuching with my sister. I feel like crying coz I miss her. Oh well, I'll get over it. She'll be 10 months this 13th July. That's her favourite toy at the moment. I bought it for her... Fun to see her kicking. Hahahaha

Friday, July 07, 2006

Blue and black kebayas...


Hi again, these two kebayas are among of my favourites. I try to wear them, but unfortunately they are not my size obviously. Those are my mum's. It is loose here and there.

Black kebaya is very sexy... The blue one is sweet... Ahh.... I want peacock's design...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Sleeping Twinkle...


It is very hot for the past few days! Few rains here and there but it does not do the justice of being cooling enough… My Twinkle develops rashes around her fingers because of the intense heat. She and my mum been sleeping at the living room because of air condition is outside. Hmm, I hope I can install one in our room maybe after earning something.

We just switched it on for a while then when it is cool enough, just turned on the fan. Luckily when it is approaching dawn, it is very cold. You can see from the picture, I put on her socks. Isn’t she adorable when she is sleeping? The other picture is when she is in the swing cot. Notice her red companion? It called “Patrick”. She needs Patrick every time she goes to bed. I bought it when she only 1 month old. Bear in mind, I also give Patrick a necessary bath when it needed to. I don’t want it to be smelly!

I might be going back to Kuching because no maid yet. I don’t mind because I need to help up my sister, since she is 3 months pregnant. Of course I will be sad because I have to leave my baby behind. Oh well, it is only for a while.

Today for lunch, my mum steamed a very large fish. I don't know what it called. My uncle caught four of it and he gave one to us. It cost RM8 per kilo and I think the fish that he gave us was might be 7 kilos. My mum steamed half of it. Damn... it was veryyyyyyyyyy tasty and I finished all of it!!! Well 90% of it. My diet gone... I'm still size 28. Waaaa I used to be 26! OK, tomorrow, I will eat less... Hmm the price of motherhood. After giving birth, it is hard to be "before size".

Monday, July 03, 2006

Tiger Orchid



Actually, I have a very interesting orchid to show. It is called Tiger Orchid and it is wild. This is the first time the plants flowered after 4 years my mum planted it. It is only flowers once a year the same time. So, the next flower will be June 2007.

Somebody told me it can cost RM 10,000. I told my mum, if someone wants to buy it for RM10,000, just sell it. She has four of it, so no harm if she wants to sell it. Anyone out there interested?

I am back to Mukah!


I am back in Mukah. It was hard yesterday. Hmm… my flight from Sibu to Mukah cancelled!! So, no choice but me and my sister have to travel by bus for two hours. We arrived yesterday around 1.30 pm.

When I reached home, my Twinkle was at the balcony. When I looked at her, she looks different!! I left her for a month, definitely she changes A LOT!!!

I approached her, and she a little bit perplexed looking at me. Oh course, she still smiling A LOT when she was looking t me! Her front teeth!!! Two big fat teeth!! There’s a gap in between. In my head, I already planned a set of braces for her to wear in the future.

When I reached for her, she also reached out her hands for me. Ah… all my heartache gone when I hugged her. She looked at me as though she tried to ask me, “Mummy, where have U been?” Hahahahaha she almost 10 months and I tried to breastfeed her. She bit me!!!! After she bit me, she made funny face and laughed at the same time! I miss breastfeeding her, but she does not want it anymore. What to do...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

My niece and nephew...

He is cute, isn't he? His name is Matthew and my nephew from Melbourne. His dad is Aussie and his mum is my cousin. They came to Kuching early June for holiday.
This pretty little girl is my niece, Ashley, Matthew's little sister. She is 1 year old, few months older than my little girl, Twinkle. Ahh... both of them are so adorable. I told my cousin not to talk English only. Try to talk Melanau and Malay to both of them so that they know. Maybe some swear words? Hahahahahaha... just kidding!