Family feud and my dilemma…

It is a very complicated position if you are in between in this sticky situation. I am saying this because you have to hear both sides throwing lies, deceptions and ugly gossips about each other. Here I am just listening to them babbling and trying not to be smart out of anger to talk back. Trust me, they are not worthy to listen to, it is only a courtesy and out of politeness just because they are your relative. How I wish I am in Melbourne but not in Malaysia… sigh…

I really hate it when that somebody talking behind my back telling how selfish and irresponsible I am. To make thing worst, she starts spreading lies that I am not paying my loan and I am ruining my auntie’s marriage. Why? This is because my auntie is my guarantor. It seems that my auntie and her husband fighting and will getting the divorce because of me. This particular person has been telling my sister, but not me.

The funny thing is, my auntie is cool about it. I already explain to her nothing to worry about it. Unlikely this idiot, she just want to a cheap champion. Come on, she is nothing and only knows how to talk crap.

When my sister told me about this incident, I was bloody furious. I wanted to tell her off. How could she been doing that to me? My sister asked me to be patience. I really want to shout into her face but when I seen her, I just controlled myself and luckily it worked. Why is it so easy for her to pretend she didn’t do anything wrong? It is hard to pretend that you are OK, but you are not. She hasn’t seen the other side of me. For now, I just try to have compassion to her.

One day, I will tell her off. Not now but when the time comes. I don’t care if she is older or my own blood. What right does she have to tell lies and gossips everywhere? What she has done is already too much but I just need to learn to be patience. I am just scared that I might burst and scream at hr. Huh… that will be fun.

I remember when I was pregnant; I really despised to see her. The reason is simply she will asked me to do the thing that I don’t want to do.

But now, my baby is 10 months old. She is beautiful and I am so happy because I decided to have her. I don’t care if I lost my job because I want to have my baby. I can always find a new job but not Twinkle. Besides, being a Catholic, it is a mortal sin to have abortion. You cannot receive Holy Communion. The worst thing is you will loose Holy Spirit. You are not under His grace and mercy. Even worst, if you die sudden death without proper confession, you will go straight to hell for eternity. I don’t want to go there.

Knowing what she had done in the past, how can she receive Holy Communion in the church? Ok, you can attend everyday mass and recite rosary everyday, but what is the point if you don’t change the way you live? You still curse, spreading the filthiest gossip and no forgiveness in her heart? Cursed is her soul to receive Holy Communion if she still live a life like that. Even worst if you commit mortal sins and still receive Holy Communion. It is like booking our own damnation.

I have a lot to talk about religion, but maybe some other time.